LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"When there is trust, conflict becomes nothing but the pursuit of truth, an attempt to find the best possible answer." Patrick Lencioni

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We're looking at the each of the dysfunctions that Lencioni describes in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

Last week I started where Lencioni starts... TRUST. His entire model is built with trust at the foundation, and he says again and again, "if you have trust, then you can...."

He challenges us over and over again to build that solid foundation of trust, which we described last week as being connected to vulnerability.

You'll need that solid foundation, because the next dysfunction he looks at is FEAR OF CONFLICT.

In the book, Lencioni describes different kinds of conflict and explains different ways people approach it. I think the most valuable thing he does is he breaks the common belief that "conflict is bad".

If I ask a room full of leaders how many are comfortable with conflict vs. how many avoid it, it always lands in the 80-20 ratio. Most people avoid it, but there are some who are comfortable with it.

Lencioni, the quote above, describes conflict as "the pursuit of truth". He goes on to say that a meeting without conflict is an unnecessary meeting.

He describes ways in which conflict helps us find truth, helps us argue and disagree rationally, and talks about the value that comes when people passionately share their views and opinions.

In another book he says that "meetings without conflict is boring".

I don't know about that.

I'm not afraid of conflict, but I don't always welcome it. I've learned a lot over the years of what my tolerance is and how to allow the right amount.

There's a tipping point when conflict can move quickly from a "healthy conflict" into a "mean-spirited personal attack". I've seen this happen, and this does damage to the team, to the organization and to the leader.

Years ago, while engaged in a deep conflict, I learned the lesson that you can disagree, you can discuss passionately, and you can call someone out for their behavior, but then you can continue in your relationship and move on.... IF YOU HAVE A FOUNDATION OF TRUST!

What's your personal tolerance for conflict? Think about how you approach this at work, at home, at church, in your community?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"If you could get all the people in an organization rowing in the same direction, you could dominate any industry, in any market, against any competition, at any time." Patrick Lencioni

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I led a short workshop for a local non-profit team this week, so I spent some time revisiting a workshop I've shared over the years from one of my favorite Patrick Lencioni books, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.

I remember the first time I read this book back in 2002 and I immediately tried to put it's principles into play in the organization I was running at the time as well as 2 Boards I was serving with and leading.

Lencioni talks about 5 things that high functioning teams have to address and it was so practical, it immediately made a difference in the way I was leading. Of course, it's taken another 25 years of practice, failure and then trying again, but I can honestly say that this book had a huge impact on my personal leadership and on every organization I've been a part of since.

This month, I'm just going to share some thoughts from this book, but I encourage you: If you haven't read it, GET IT AND READ IT. If you have read it, PICK IT UP AGAIN AND REFRESH. If it's sitting on your shelf and you flipped through a couple of pages, I challenge you to STOP AND READ IT.

Lencioni builds his entire model on a foundation of TRUST. He talks about how important it is to build trust but then to maintain trust over time.

He talks about the quickest way to build trust being VULNERABILITY. He actually wrote a book that he titled, GETTING NAKED (which got a lot of attention), but the entire book is about the importance of vulnerability in leadership.

In this book, Lencioni identifies 3 reasons why people in leadership aren't vulnerable and real:

First, THE LEADER FEARS LOSING BUSINESS. We're afraid that if we show our real selves, they won't like what they see and they'll go someplace else. We live with this constant fear.

Second, THE LEADER FEARS BEING EMBARRASSED. We worry about what people think so we want to project something that is often not what is real! We don't want people to see any weakness in us!

Thirst, THE LEADER FEARS FEELING INFERIOR. We are the leader and we like it when our team puts us up on a pedestal to some degree. Humbling ourselves might make us look less qualified.

We buy into these lies, and Lencioni argues that the opposite is usually true.

• When we show our true selves, people are drawn to us.

• When we show our weaknesses, we become much more relatable.

• When we're not afraid of being embarrassed, we take more risks and often show more of our true leadership.

Which one of these three is something you have dealt with as a leader?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Rohn

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

This is the final post addressing Motivation.

You can read the other posts this month HERE if you missed them.

I'm going to actually give you 2 quotes today, I'll close with one of my favorites...

We've been talking about some different things that might motivate us... we've talk about others, we've talk about God's voice in our life, and we've talked about our own voice.

Motivation is tricky because it will constantly be changing based on the task before you or the goal you're aiming for.

One time in High School, our Basketball Coach gave us a workout plan to do over Christmas Break in preparation for the start of the new season. I went into the break ready to work out every day, but quickly that motivation was lost when I saw the waves of the ocean, tasted the shrimp at our favorite beach spot, and somehow that motivation was lost on me until the day before school started when I finally got through the workout plan one time.

It's the same way with my teeth. If I have a cleaning coming up, I'm even more disciplined in my flossing. I'm motivated to attack these gums, then the day after the cleaning I relax back into a normal routine of flossing.

Motivation provides the SPARK to do something, but as the quote says, it often requires healthy habits to keep moving forward, especially when that motivation slows down, or when we get distracted by something else.

I want to encourage you to take some time to identify the motivating things in your life...

• When my kids and grandkids are coming over, I'm motivated to clean the yard and be ready for them.

• When I'm feeling tired, I'm motivated to change my eating, sleeping and movement activity because I know this affects my energy.

• When my wife asks me to do something, I'm motivated to respond and act in love because I want to please her.

• When I'm distracted, I need to figure out what's going on in my mind and heart and address that before finding a way to focus.

• When I'm stressed out I need to look at the big picture of what I'm doing and remind myself of my purpose and my passion.

Identifying our Motivation helps us to act!

What is it that regularly motivates you to action?