LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. Henri J.M. Nouwen

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

This month I want to focus on the word JOY.

Last week, while recording a podcast with a friend, I was asked the question, "what brings you joy"? It was a great question, and it kind of stopped me in my tracks.

Earlier in the week, Gina and I had attended the funeral of a good friend, and while there was sadness, there was also so much joy around the way he lived his life and the influence he had on so many people. It was a broad scope of emotions as we celebrated his life and as we connected with good friends in the process.

I then came back home to a really full and hectic week, and I'm learning that sometimes these transitions from one thing to another need a little time! The truth is, I flew back really early in order to make an important meeting, so I was tired, emotional, and not ready to dive into the tasks that were before me.

In the midst of these transitions, these emotions, this fatigue, and the urgency of things on my plate, we escaped late Thursday afternoon to attend our grandsons first art show at his preschool. (Yes, he's truly an artist). As members of our family came together to celebrate this beautiful child, I was overwhelmed. It wasn't just the art, but it was the love that was being displayed through our family, it was my 2 grandkids running on the grass chasing a ball, it was smiles and laughter, it was cheering and encouragement, it was just pure JOY.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it was so much more than a moment.

It was a reflection of what was stirring in my heart and soul in the midst of everything that had gone on during the week, and I didn't realize it in the moment, but when I reflected back while doing the podcast, that was the first thing out of my mouth when asked, "what brings you joy?".

Nouwen shares this:

"Joy isn't the same as happiness. Happiness is reactive - it comes and goes based on circumstances. Joy is something deeper: a settled sense of meaning and gratitude that can coexist with suffering, grief, or difficulty."

It's a discipline, not a moment and I want to keep choosing it everyday.

What Brings YOU Joy?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"If you spend your life trying to be good at everything, you will never be great at anything." Tom Rath

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We continue the conversation on STRENGTHS for a few more weeks.

Tom Rath has spent his life focused on different aspects of Strengths-Based Leadership as well as a Leaders Health. His books have had a profound influence in my life over the years and I'm currently reading his latest book, What's the Point, which is a book about purpose.

I shared with you a little bit about my drumming passion growing up, but I have other music interests as well. I play the guitar, bass guitar and the piano a little bit.

Here's the deal, I can pick one up or sit down at the piano and play something. I've learned enough over the years to be able to perform, to play a tune, or even to lead worship, but I never "mastered" any of those instruments. I play enough to get by and to use it, but I'm not good enough to do more with it.

Do you want to know why? Because I chose to be "good" or "decent" at all three, and never put the time into practicing any one of those to become really great.

Sometimes when I'm standing in church or at a concert, I just get lost in the musicians abilities to play their instrument.

We went to see The Eagles (my favorite band growing up) last year perform, and I was standing there in awe of their talent. Don Henley playing the drums, Joe Walsh just screaming on the guitar, and Vince Gill fitting into the Eagles lineup with incredible vocals and guitar playing. Timothy B. Schmit plays the bass so casually, but it drives their music.

These are performers who have spent a lifetime becoming GREAT.

I chose to be "OK".

Do I have regrets? Sometimes. Gina often asks me what instrument I'd like to play in a band, and it always depends on the kind of music they're playing.

I'd like to be able to really play the piano, or to play the guitar the way I see some of these professionals play.

But, I chose other things, other passions, other interests. I chose to develop strengths in other ways that were a good investment in my time.

I could talk to you about my desire to be a GREAT golfer, but that will never happen, so I'll just keep being OK.

How do we determine what to focus on? What to spend time developing? What to invest the energy into?

That's a conversation between you and God. He made you for a unique purpose, and once you find out what that is, you will be drawn to grow and develop in the areas that help you become the best you can be, with His help.

I may never be a world famous musician, but I can still admire those people, I can appreciate the work they've put into developing their skills, and I can stay true to the path I'm on, being the person God has called me to be.

What do you want to be GREAT at? What are you GREAT at? Why?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"What leaders have in common is that each really knows their strengths, has developed their strengths, and can call on the right strength at the right time." Donald O. Clifton

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We continue the conversation on STRENGTHS for a few more weeks.

Donald O. Clifton really began the study of STRENGTHS which came from this thought:

"What will happen when we think about what is right with people rather than fixating on what is wrong with them?"

Clifton went on to create the CliftonStrengths (Strengthsfinder 2.0 with Tom Rath) which has been used around the world to help people identify their core strengths using a 34-theme template.

The idea is pretty simple: If I come home with a report card in Junior High School, and I have an A in English, a B in History and a D in Math, my parents will naturally tell me I have to focus on getting the math grade up, and at the expense of the classes I excel in, I need to put all my energy into my math grade, which in turn might bring my math grade up to a C, but it might also bring my English & History grades down.

Clifton calls it "weakness-fixing" and he points out that this leads to mediocrity and that it doesn't reflect my true capacity.

Of course there's balance in everything. If you're getting a D in a class you need to work on that to some extent, however in Cliftons writings, he shares that in areas of weakness, learn to be content with a C grade in math and then spend your energy and time on areas of interest and natural talent.

I wish I had understood this concept earlier in my life, in my development.

When I was a kid, my first instrument was an accordion. I have no idea why my parents would do that to me, but I hauled the accordion for a while back and forth to lessons. I don't remember ever really enjoying it. My next instrument was the piano, and while I enjoyed this, I just didn't want to be a piano player, of course this was before Elton John & Billy Joel made it cool.

I wanted to be a drummer! I had dreams and goals of being a rock and roll drummer, and fortunately my parents believed in that dream. I took lessons, I rented a snare drum to practice at home, eventually I got my first drum set (which was banished to a room far away from everyone else), and I played the drums all the way through late elementary school, junior high and high school. After college I played at my church and continued to play percussion for many many years.

Drumming was in my bones. Gina experiences it often as I work out a rhythm on the steering wheel of our car, over and over again!

I don't know if drumming is a strength, a talent or a passion, but I'm thankful that my parents saw that in me and not only encouraged me, but made it possible for me to develop this in my life.

That's what I want to do more of: identify areas of strength in people and help them experience the joy that comes from using that God-given gift to impact the world!

What's a STRENGTH you have that you'd like to explore and invest in?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Cultivate a deep understanding of yourself - not only what your strengths and weaknesses are but also how you learn, how you work with others, what your values are, and where you can make the greatest contribution. Because only when you operate from strengths can you achieve true excellence." Peter Drucker

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

Last week, I referenced a Peter Drucker book, The Five Most Important Questions that we used at our Leader Mundial Cohort here in Orange County.

As I revisited this book, and came across this quote of his above from something else he had done, and I've been thinking about it this week.

This month, I want to do a deep dive into the conversation around our "STRENGTHS". I'm not sure where this will take us, but I want to explore this with you a little bit over the coming weeks.

There are some great books and teaching on STRENGTHS, and I want to look at a couple of different approaches over the next few weeks.

The first comes from Marcus Buckingham. He's done some great writing and teaching on strengths so let me give you a simple overview from him.

Buckinghams definition of a strength: "a strength is an activity that makes you feel strong". He goes on to say "not something you're merely good at, and not something other people praise you for - but an activity that, when you do it, energizes you, draws you in, and leaves you feeling more alive afterward than before."

He points for four practical signals using the acronym SIGN:

• SUCCESS - you do it well or at least pick it up quickly

• INSTINCT - you find yourself drawn to it, looking forward to it

• GROWTH - you're naturally curious and absorb information quickly

• NEEDS - you feel fulfilled and replenished after doing it, not depleted.

Buckingham goes on to say that "strengths are not the same as talents".

An example of this in my life might be:

• When I "gather people together", it energizes me, draws me in and leaves me feeling more alive. This is a strength that I am able to grow and develop over time. The strength might be "Activating or Maximizing Relationships".

I think when Buckingham says that a strength needs to "energize you" that's an interesting description.

What strengths do you personally feel you have that fit this description?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Rest isn't a reward for work; it's part of the work." Leesa Renee Hall

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I want to continue this theme one last week. REST.

I appreciate Leesa Renee Halls quote above in that she's reminding us that rest and work must co-exist. They are essential to each other. There's another quote that says this:

"Rest is not a reward for great work, it's a requirement for great work to happen." (accredited to a number of different people).

REST and WORK go hand in hand and there's no perfect balance to it, there's just a desire to see them both co-exist because we need both.

This past weekend, Gina and I worked in our yard. We tackled some huge projects, and were able to get a lot done. Long days, one project leading to another, but great satisfaction with how everything came together.

At the end of day one, we both collapsed when it got dark outside, watched a show, laid on the couch, then went to bed. We needed REST after a long day of WORK.

The next day, Gina was up really early going after the next projects. I eventually joined her and we did another full day, just getting stuff done. Stuff that we wanted to do for a long time, but were now able to go after it.

Again, at the end of the day "we rested". Sore bodies, tired from the lifting, pulling and hauling, but satisfied with what was accomplished.

I wrote to you about my "sabbath experience" last week, when I was able to take a day and just rest, walk, listen, nap, enjoy space. That was pure joy.

This weekend was pure joy as well. There's a great sense of accomplishment that comes over you when you finish some projects. We're happy with the work that was done and we're now ready to start the week.

I wish I could say that we got everything done because we didn't, but we have a plan and a pathway forward to finish some things we started.

See the rhythm? It's some work, some rest, even some sabbath and when they are all working together I feel like I'm in a good place.

I think it's when we solely focus one one or the other that we get in trouble. The complete absence of REST isn't sustainable. The lack of purposeful WORK leaves us wondering what we're here for, and the opportunity to find and practice SABBATH on an ongoing basis keeps us connected to our Father and to ourselves.

What are you missing? Which one of these three is the most elusive to you? What are you doing to address that?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Sabbath is not simply the pause that refreshes. It is the pause that transforms." Walter Brueggemann

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I want to spend a few weeks this month just talking about REST. Some of these things I'm exploring, thinking about and working to implement in my life.

In reading Ruth Haley Bartons book, "Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest", I was challenged to spend some time thinking about SABBATH.

This isn't a new, as I've thought about it and admired people who practice this regularly, it just hasn't fit in my normal life rhythm.

Barton shares this thought:

"Sabbath keeping is the primary discipline that helps us live within the limits of our humanity and to honor God as our Creator. It is the key to a life lived in sync with the rhythms that God himself built into our world."

The quote above from Brueggemann talks about "refreshment and transformation".

Let me tell you about my Sabbath experiment this past week. I had a completely unscheduled day show up in my calendar. Gina had plans with friends, and while I had a list of things I needed to get done, I decided to "take the morning" and get outside for a while. The goal wasn't "Sabbath", it was simply a long walk!

I drove to Dana Point, charted out a long walk, and took off. The walk led me through town, to the top of a hill overlooking the ocean, then down to the beach. Along the way I stopped for a sandwich at one of my favorite spots.

I began the walk listening to a couple of news podcasts, and somewhere along the way I switched to a classic worship album from one of my favorite groups, Third Day.

Here's what happened on that walk.... I slowed down.

What began as a power walk turned into a replenishing journey that included about 45 minutes on a bench looking at the waves.

Here's the thing.... I had been thinking about SABBATH since last week, and I didn't know I would get to experience a little bit of it.

I can't tell you that some deep truth emerged or even some deep thoughts. What did happen was I got outside, experienced some of God's beauty, slowed down, and really enjoyed the solo time.

I got home 3 1/2 hours later, I decided to just take the rest of the day... it was so good. I had a short nap, I watched some golf, I read a book, and when Gina got home that evening I was feeling pretty good. What a gift of a day.

Rest - Space - Beauty - Solitude - Surprise - Replenishment - Time

When was the last time you experienced a little bit of Sabbath?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"You are like a jar of river water all shaken up. What you need is to sit still long enough that the sediment can settle and the water can become clear." Ruth Haley Barton

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I want to spend a few weeks this month just talking about REST. Some of these things I'm exploring, thinking about and working to implement in my life.

I picked up a book this weekend by Ruth Haley Barton entitled "Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest". Thank you Estha for the recommendation. In the first few pages I found some powerful reminders of why I'm even talking about REST.

The quote from Barton above just resonated with me.

We have a pool, and the other day I was cleaning it. I follow 3 simple steps in cleaning the pool: First, I scoop all the leaves off the top of the water. Second, I sweep the pool with a long pool broom. Third, I vacuum up the leaves and then we're good to go.

However, there's a step in this process that I don't really pay attention too... it's the step between sweeping and vacuuming. When I sweep, it stirs everything up, makes the water messy and dirty. After sweeping, I have to literally STOP for about 10 minutes. This allows everything to fall to the bottom, making it easier to vacuum up.

When I saw this quote, I realized that this was the process I've been following with my pool, but I hadn't made the connection to my life.

Barton goes on to say this: "A jar of shaken river water looks murky, cloudy, chaotic - and you can't see through it no matter how hard you try. You can't force it clear. You can't stir it into clarity. The ONLY thing that works is stillness. Time. Waiting. That's the soul under pressure."

Real clarity can be elusive, and often we're trying to find it will moving way too fast.

Barton's book is primarily about the power of SABBATH and we'll explore this more next week.

But for today, do you feel that you're living like a jar of river water? All shaken up?

What would it take for you to "clear out" the murkiness and cloudiness in your life today?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes - including you." Anne Lamott

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I want to spend a few weeks this month just talking about REST. Some of these things I'm exploring, thinking about and working to implement in my life.

I love this thought from Anne Lamott because it's so true.

There are times that I will spend hours trying to get my internet working again, or updating my computer, or even an alarm on my car, and it total desperation, I simply 'UNPLUG' it from the power source, count to ten, then bring it back online and everything works normally.

I usually let out some kind of gutteral sound at that point, but then move on, getting back to what I was working on before things all stopped!

It's the simple idea of a RESET.

Here's what I'm learning (even at my age), when I run at an unsustainable pace, there are things that I'm not able to keep up with, things that get thrown aside in the midst of the chaos I find myself in.

This is natural for everybody as we focus on the most important things at the time.

The problem is that sometimes I shed some things that ARE important just to save time, energy and to help me focus on the task at hand. I know when I'm doing it, I know why I'm doing it, but at the time, in order to get things done, I have to make some changes.

I just finished a pretty FULL run of events, travel, speaking, projects, meetings and family and personal things all mixed together. It was the perfect storm and I'm happy to say that I not only survived, but I saw God do some great things in the midst of everything.

But now, I need to pick up some things that I set aside and integrate them back into my life.

Here's the deal though, I don't know if this is true for you, but when I'm pushed with my calendar and my schedule, the things that always fall first are the things that are the most important: REST - EXERCISE - SOLO TIME - SPACE - NUTRITION - RELATIONSHIPS - REPLENISHMENT

These are the things that I time and time again, set aside, and they are the things that are the most life-giving.

Covey calls these things Quadrant II: Important - Not Urgent

I call them the high cost of a full schedule!!

When you get pressed, what do you immediately let go of? What do you set aside in order to keep up with your required pace?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"I've laid down a pattern for you. What I've done, you do." Jesus

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

I've been talking about INFLUENCE for a number of weeks. You can read the posts off of my website HERE if you're interested. This will be the last post on this topic, then we're going to move into a different theme talking about REST for a few weeks.

I hosted a Leader Mundial Global Summit event a few weeks ago in Georgia, and spent 4 full days with a group of 66 leaders, representing about 15 different countries and about 30 different organizations. We spent the week focusing on the topic of INFLUENCE and were encouraged to examine the scope of our personal and organizational influence and pay attention to those that are impacted through us and by us.

As I moved through the week, I spent some personal time simply looking at Jesus and his instruction to each of us to follow his example.

The quote above comes out of John 13:15 in the Message translation, and I love the simple image he gives... "I've laid down a pattern for you" or in the ESV or NIV, "I've given you an example".

I remember as a small child dreading going with my mom to the fabric store. That was a place I never wanted to go because it felt that we were there forever and it was really boring (at least for a 7 year-old boy).

What my mom was doing was buying fabric so that she could match it to a pattern and make a shirt or a dress or whatever out of it. She had a template of what she wanted to make, and she was following that plan.

I thought she was just going to the fabric store to talk and to torture me, but there was a purpose behind it.

Jesus says this to us: I've given you a template, a model, a plan, now follow it. He wants us to follow his example and do what he did.

If you read a few verses earlier in John 13, you see exactly what he was modeling when he washes the feet of his disciples. He's illustrating a powerful message here of influence. He's showing his disciples what to do, then he's telling them to go and do it and then he's telling US to do it.

We learn by watching, but we learn best by doing. Jesus did both and in that moment he turned the message of leadership upside down teaching leaders to serve others first.

This is the greatest example of influence.

How has Jesus influenced your leadership? What do you do differently because of what He said, what He did and what He challenged each of us to do?

LEADERSHIP QUOTE:

"The most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me." Scott Adams

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:

We're going to explore this word INFLUENCE for 2 more weeks. I just finished a week outside of Atlanta with 66 Global Leaders & Coaches, and the theme of our week was "The Influence of a Leader".

Coming out of these days together, I really resonate with Scott Adams quote above. I'm sure this is true for many of you as well.

There are people who have had and continue to have a profound influence on my life, and they are completely unaware of that influence. They are simply living their lives, leading, impacting their sphere of influence, and I get to somehow learn from these people, I'm inspired by watching these people and they shape me as a leader and as a person.

In my life, I'm thinking of a couple of people that stand out:

Don Schuler was my middle school carpentry teacher. A very quiet, gentle man. He taught me some basics in carpentry, and I really enjoyed the class. What I learned from him was PATIENCE. He was the most patient person I've ever met, either with a group of middle school boys, or years later as he continued to serve that school in many different capacities, he was just willing to serve others and to do it with patience. I remember being inspired by him many times in how he related to people, but I've never had the chance to tell him how he influenced me.

Guy Adams was an advisor in college, and he had a unique way of AFFIRMING me and CHALLENGING me at the same time. I was serving in a student government role my senior year and Guy just pushed me gently to believe in myself and those around me. I always felt more confident after spending time with Guy and I want people to feel that way about me when they are with me. I'm sure Guy doesn't know the impact he had on me, but it was profound.

Patrick Lencioni, one of my favorite business authors, has written a number of books that have profoundly influenced my life and leadership. The 5 Dysfunctions of Team transformed the way I led my team, and his work through The Advantage impacted the health of the organization I was helping to lead at the time. Lencioni has influenced millions of people through is writing and speaking. I've heard him speak in person, I follow his social media and I devour every book or article he writes. Deep influence, and he has no idea!

I could go on and on as I think through a flood of faces and names who have influenced me in unique ways, and they probably don't know the impact they've had on me.

Don't underestimate influence that happens from a distance.

Make your list? Who has influenced you over the years that most likely doesn't know about it? Maybe you should let them know!