It's Tuesday at 2:00pm! (PST Time: I live and work from Southern California)
Greetings to you!
Each week I send out a short leadership blog that's called "Tuesday at 2:00pm". The purpose of this is simply to provide a brief thought on leadership that you can read and think about in just a few minutes. I send it out every week at 2:00pm (PST) and encourage you to make an appointment with yourself to pause and think about the thing I'm writing about.
Russ...
LEADERSHIP QUOTE:
"Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better." Kathryn Schulz
What does this stir up? Either write me HERE or comment at the end of the blog post HERE.
A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:
It’s August and this month I’m going to dive into the topic of REGRET. Not very inspiring, but in church recently I was reminded of God’s Grace and Mercy, and I found myself thinking about things that I have regret for, trying to understand how God can forgive, forget and be so gracious.
I don't know what the word REGRET triggers in you, but I want to drag you along with me this month by looking at some quotes on regret, sharing some resources, and just thinking about what that means in our lives.
Remember, you can always go back to see past posts and more positive themes that we've addressed on the website HERE.
But journey with me....
"Do You Have Any Regret"?
Regret defined simply means "to feel sorrow or remorse for". Some other synonyms of regret are "anguish, grief, sorrow, and woe".
This quote from Kathryn Schulz is a way to reposition that regret, but it's still regret.
In a couple of weeks I'm going to a "Celebration of Life" of a friend of mine from High School. He lived about an hour from me here in Southern California, and the last time we saw each other was our freshmen year of college when I went down to his school at Point Loma and we spent a great weekend together, a very long time ago. We were good friends in Junior High, hung out a little in High School, then spent that weekend in San Diego and Tijuana, and that was it.
About 15 years ago I found his number and we texted back and forth and said we should get together, but nothing happened.
A few weeks ago, I heard that he had passed away. No information or details, just an invitation to attend his celebration of life.
I've been thinking a lot about Jim lately, about our friendship, about the things I loved about hanging out with him and playing basketball together, but mostly I just have regret. Regret for not keeping up, regret for not pushing through my schedule to connect with him, regret for not knowing his family, regret for not knowing much about his life after high school at all.
I hate that in hindsight, we always see where we could have done better.
Do you have things you REGRET in your life? Your past? How do you handle that?
DEEPER STILL:
Here's what I'm learning....
Regret and Guilt are not the same thing. Guilt is about feeling bad for having done something wrong while regret is about wishing you had done something differently.
Guilt comes when you "break a rule" and usually has shame attached to it. Regret comes from disappointment and a longing to do something over.
Guilt can become a motivation to do better, but Regret usually pushes us to learn from the disappointment and make better choices.
So how do I handle & manage the REGRET I feel?
First, I ACCEPT it. It's something I can't change and it's a feeling I can't dismiss. I just accept it. Example: I made a list of some regret I have. I was surprised by some of the things that came up, but I just absorbed it, accepted it, and realized that this is a part of my story.
Second, I ADDRESS it. Are their things I can do to address that regret? It may not take it away, but it will help. Example: I'm going to Jim's Celebration of Life simply to communicate to his family what I wasn't able to communicate with him.
Third, I ACT ON it. I want to avoid regret when possible, and that means I pay attention to things that I might be feeling pulled into. Example: Gina and I both have a feeling that we need to go see someone who was instrumental in our lives in the past. Instead of ignoring that, we're going to ACT and make a plan to go see her.
Lastly, I ACKNOWLEDGE it. Regret is part of our lives. We won't get it all right all the time, but I want to live more aware of what's going on around me. Example: From today forward, how do I live more present, more aware, more tuned in to opportunities around me that I don't want to miss?
What can you learn from some of the regret you might have in your life? In your leadership? In your relationships?
Things I'm Reading, Listening To and Watching This Week:
One of the organizations we're working with is Kathy's House. Kathy's House is a ministry committed to sharing the love of God, connecting the disconnected, and empowering the powerless. Check out their website above, and if you have items to donate, much of their program budget is funded through 3 Thrift Stores in San Juan Capistrano & San Clemente. Know that when you donate items to Kathy's House, you're partnering with them to disciple people out of addiction and into a personal relationship with Jesus!
Kathryn Schulz TED Talk on Regret: Don't Regret Regret
You've heard me talk about Leader Mundial (Global Leader). Check out our website talking about the movement around the world! leadermundial.com
I just started listening to John & Paul: A Love Story in Songs by Ian Leslie. It's the story of John Lennon & Paul McCartney's story. I then started listening to early Beatles tunes, beginning with their first album, Please Please Me in 1963.
JD Flannel: Best Donuts In Orange County!