It's Tuesday at 2:00pm! (PST Time: I live and work from Southern California)
Greetings to you!
Each week I send out a short leadership blog that's called "Tuesday at 2:00pm". The purpose of this is simply to provide a brief thought on leadership that you can read and think about in just a few minutes. I send it out every week at 2:00pm (PST) and encourage you to make an appointment with yourself to pause and think about the thing I'm writing about.
Russ...
LEADERSHIP QUOTE:
"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble." Mahatma Gandhi
What does this stir up? Either write me HERE or comment at the end of the blog post HERE.
A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:
This month we're looking at these words, YES and NO. Powerful words with some great prompts, challenges and reminders around them. To read past posts, visit my full site HERE.
We all learn the lesson that Gandhi is talking about in this quote. For some of us, it's taken a long time, but as we grow in confidence and experience, we draw on that to make better decisions.
When I was just starting out, I said YES to everything. I don't know if it was because I wanted to please everyone, or if it was because I wanted to do everything, I just said YES to everything, and then I began to realize that I couldn't continue at the pace that a "constant yes" requires, so I began to say no to things.
A lifelong mentor of mine, Jim Burns, while at a leaders training event, I remember when he had all of us practice saying NO out loud. His point was that for many of us, we didn't know how to say NO. He went on to share this quote that I attribute him with:
"If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy".
As a young leader, for some reason that resonated with me, and I began to say NO with confidence. I'm not sure if I was saying no from the "deepest conviction" that Gandhi talks about, but little by little, I began to shift my mindset.
This is what I remember feeling as I shifted my availability:
I felt EMPOWERED. I had a choice, and I didn't have to say yes to everything. My choice and interest mattered.
I felt FREEDOM. I wasn't a slave to a bunch of things that I had agreed to, and I could learn to make better choices.
I felt PROTECTED. As my convictions grew and my experience supported that, I was making decisions in alignment with my purpose, my role and my responsibility.
I felt CONTROL. I quit blaming others and took responsibility for each and every decision. I was forced to think more deeply about each of them.
Have you thought about the convictions you have that help to drive every decision you make? What are those?
DEEPER STILL:
You might ask, "What does saying NO with conviction look like"? Let me share a couple of examples in my life that I strive towards (and succeed in most of the time, not ALL of the time)
#1) I SCHEDULE APPOINTMENTS WITH MYSELF
If you look at my weekly/daily schedule, I make appointments with myself to focus on important things. I usually schedule these out before getting into the day/week, but if someone contacts me about scheduling a meeting or appointment, I treat these appointments with myself as I would with anyone else. I don't allow someone else's "urgency" to take me away from what I have committed to accomplishing. Of course, there are exceptions to this, however, this has made a huge difference in my workflow and my daily schedule.
#2) I BOUNCE THE OPPORTUNITY OFF OF MY WIFE
Often my wife provides me with quick feedback that either supports a decision I was leaning towards, or that forces me to step back and rethink it. Just being able to run something by someone else provides some outside perspective that helps and confirms decisions. I don't do this with every decision, but I've found that it's helpful when I can.
#3) PRIORITIZE GOALS WHEN POSSIBLE
Again, there are always exceptions, but sometimes I make decisions to serve people or organizations out of relationship, and I willingly give too much time. I'm still learning this, but when I'm able to schedule time to focus on my goals (both personally driven and organizationally driven) I'm able to allocate the appropriate time. I'm less likely to give a full day away today, and more likely to offer a shorter window of time that helps me to keep caught up on the things I need to be working towards.
#4) I USE TECHNOLOGY WHEN POSSIBLE
This is a difficult one. I love to meet people face-to-face, and over the years this had driven travel (local and global) and currently it drives my driving (Southern California). Last week, I had a meeting scheduled with a guy. I wanted to meet face-to-face, and as I looked at it, I spent 90 minutes driving, and 65 minutes in face-to-face conversation, and within the first 5 minutes I realized that this would have been a much more effective phone call. Was it a waste of time? No. However, I needed those 90 minutes last week back. I'm still discerning how to do this, and it doesn't work all the time, but learning to lean on technology really helps to prioritize time and manage the commute.
This is what "Saying NO from Conviction" has driven me towards, and it's a constant effort to do my best, learn from mistakes, and keep moving forward.
What about you? What does saying NO from conviction look like?
Things I'm Reading, Listening To and Watching This Week:
A leader I'm working with and I agreed to read this book again and talk about it... I've read it a number of times over the years, and I'm now listening to it, and it stopped me on the sidewalk the other day with a really profound thought that impacts me directly today. Read or listen to this book: Small Giants by Bo Burlingham. I'm not sure why it's impacted me so much but the concept is simply that you don't have to have a huge organization to make a huge impact! This applies to the church, all businesses & non-profits as well.
I'm doing a re-read of The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. Thanks Nate for this book. Really powerful!
We've been drinking Poppi for the past number of weeks. A prebiotic low calorie soda.
We were introduced to Brent Cobb this past week, and I enjoyed listening to his Essentials Collection on Apple.
We finished The Long Way Home with Ewan McGregor & Charley Boorman on motorcycles driving through Europe. What a great show, and wonderful way to see some new parts of the world! This is why seeing the world on a motorcycle is so amazing! Come On Jim, Let's Go!