It's Tuesday at 2:00pm! (PST Time: I live and work from Southern California)
Greetings to you!
Each week I send out a short leadership blog that's called "Tuesday at 2:00pm". The purpose of this is simply to provide a brief thought on leadership that you can read and think about in just a few minutes. I send it out every week at 2:00pm (PST) and encourage you to make an appointment with yourself to pause and think about the thing I'm writing about.
Russ...
LEADERSHIP QUOTE:
"Do it or don't do it - you will regret both." Soren Kierkegaard
What does this stir up? Either write me HERE or comment at the end of the blog post HERE.
A LITTLE BIT DEEPER:
It's August and this month I'm going to dive into the topic of REGRET. I don't know what the word REGRET triggers in you, but I want to drag you along with me this month by looking at some quotes on regret, sharing some resources, and just thinking about what that means in our lives.
Remember, you can always go back to see past posts and more positive themes that we've addressed on the website HERE.
But journey with me....
I'm don't want to dive into all of the teachings and perspectives of Soren Kierkegaard, but when I saw his words above, I agreed with him.
I remember a time when I was younger that I had to choose between 3 job offers. I did all the normal things that people should do, and I was really seeking peace in the decision we would make. Looking back, I think my biggest hesitation was REGRET. I was more worried about making the wrong decision, worried that I would regret the decision I made instantly, that I was PARALYZED for a moment.
Have you ever felt that? Completely stuck, unable to make a decision, unable to move forward. Fearful. Confused. Unsure.
That's what I was feeling and I went back and forth, landing on one job one day and another the next, weighing the pros and cons, praying for guidance while at the same time, leaning on my own instincts.
It was a really confusing time, until I was reminded of something my dad had encouraged me with...
I don't remember when he told me this, but he had challenged me to always focus on what I'm being called to, not what I might be running away from.
Remembering this changed my posture, and I've shared this with many people over the years.
When you play the "what if I make the wrong decision" game, you'll always be stuck, you'll always have regret, and you'll often fall back on the idea of "what if I had made a different decision".
I think this is what Kierkegaard was saying... either way, regret can creep in.
The difference for me is that I have someone who is leading me, and all I have to do is recognize His voice, put my faith in Him, and trust that He's going to lead me where He wants me to be.
In my crazy job selection process, Gina and I finally heard that voice clearly, and we made a decision that changed our lives. Some people thought we were crazy, others couldn't understand it, and at times we even doubted ourselves, but the call was clear. No regret.
That doesn't mean that things were perfect. If just means that we were in the right spot.
What do you do when you feel like there's no right decision and you're stuck? What helps you navigate through the process of coming to a decision?
DEEPER STILL:
Something I wrote above got me thinking today...
It's that idea of PARALYSIS: When we just freeze because we're afraid of making the wrong decision, afraid of letting others down, afraid of regret.
I think in some ways I have navigated this in my life, again, not because I've done it all right, but because there have been many times that I've found myself at a decision point and people look to me, the leader, to make the decision.
I have 2 responses:
First, if it's a crisis response, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You don't have time to wait and wonder, you have to respond quickly. This is especially true when peoples safety is at stake, but there are times you need to have confidence to move quickly, to lead and to lead people through a crisis. It will happen to all of us at some point. Often the biggest issue is defining what a real crisis is or isn't. A crisis is also the best time to have trusted people around you, working together to solve that crisis. Leading through a crisis alone is probably the lonliest place a leader can ever be.
Second, is when you need to respond and it's not a crisis, it's not an urgent emergency, it's not a situation that has to be acted on immediately. Sometimes we just freeze and get stuck in indecision. Again, we will all be here at some point.... I've been here often. Here are the things that really help me navigate through to a point of action.
I DON'T PANIC. I gather information. I ask questions. I try to get perspective. I look for truth. I want to know what's really going on.
*Sometimes we're reacting to something that isn't true or isn't the real issue.
I TAKE A MINUTE. Once I have the information, I need to think. I turn the radio off. I go for a walk. I use my brain to process, think, and begin to define a plan of action.
*Usually when I "take a minute" I find some clarity. When I rush in for a quick response, I usually make mistakes that I don't need to.
I TALK IT THROUGH. Having someone to bounce ideas off of is critical. Someone who might see the situation differently, someone who might have different experience. I need to share and then listen.
*Having trusted people who will walk with you and speak truth is so important!
I ROLL OUT MY PLAN AND GO TO WORK. This is when I lead. This is why I'm in the position I'm in. It's time for action and this needs to be where I do my best work!
*Helping navigate through decisions, conflict and opportunity is the primary work of a leader and it can't be delegated out!
This process might take 30 minutes to walk through or it might take 4 weeks to walk through. Every situation is different, and each of us need to figure out how we go from being PARALYZED to being DECISIVE.
No Regrets.
What have you found that helps you to navigate that feeling of being stuck, of not being able to decide what direction to move into?
Things I'm Reading, Listening To and Watching This Week:
This past week at our Leader Mundial Orange County Cohort, we taught the book Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. I've talked about this before, but revisiting it brought up some great reminders of the impact this book had on me and our organization. I encourage you to read it and apply it to wherever you work with other people!
Kathryn Schulz TED Talk on Regret: Don't Regret Regret
The Barnabas Group of Orange County is holding our August Summit on the 25th of this month... next week. If you live in Orange County and you'd like to come and experience Barnabas and consider joining our Community, send me a note HERE. I'll send you an invitation link. Act quickly... registration closes in 2 days!
I enjoyed this podcast from The Best One Yet with Poppi Founder Allison Ellsworth. We just discovered this "healthy soda" and it was fun to hear the story! Check out Poppi Soda!
Gina and I had a quick getaway to celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary and enjoyed a great meal at Civico1845, a restaurant in Little Italy in the heart of San Diego.